Thou Impertinent Urchin-Faced Miscreant!

November 25, 2014


(define broughton '(
  ("integrated" "total" "systematized" "parallel" "functional"
    "responsive" "optional" "synchronized" "compatible" "balanced")
  ("management" "organizational" "monitored" "reciprocal" "digital"
    "logistical" "transitional" "incremental" "third-generation" "policy")
  ("options" "flexibility" "capability" "mobility" "programming"
    "concept" "time-phase" "projection" "hardware" "contingency")))


(define corporate '(
  ("appropriately" "assertively" "authoritatively" "collaboratively"
    "compellingly" "competently" "completely" "continually"
    "conveniently" "credibly" "distinctively" "dramatically"
    "dynamically" "efficiently" "energistically" "enthusiastically"
    "fungibly" "globally" "holisticly" "interactively"
    "intrinsicly" "monotonectally" "objectively" "phosfluorescently"
    "proactively" "professionally" "progressively" "quickly"
    "rapidiously" "seamlessly" "synergistically" "uniquely")
  ("actualize" "actualize" "administrate" "aggregate" "architect"
    "benchmark" "brand" "build" "cloudify" "communicate" "conceptualize"
    "coordinate" "create" "cultivate" "customize" "deliver" "deploy"
    "develop" "disintermediate" "disseminate" "drive" "embrace"
    "e-enable" "empower" "enable" "engage" "engineer" "enhance"
    "envisioneer" "evisculate" "evolve" "expedite" "exploit" "extend"
    "fabricate" "facilitate" "fashion" "formulate" "foster" "generate"
    "grow" "harness" "impact" "implement" "incentivize" "incubate"
    "initiate" "innovate" "integrate" "iterate" "leverage existing"
    "leverage other's" "maintain" "matrix" "maximize" "mesh" "monetize"
    "morph" "myocardinate" "negotiate" "network" "optimize" "orchestrate"
    "parallel task" "plagiarize" "pontificate" "predominate"
    "procrastinate" "productivate" "productize" "promote"
    "provide access to" "pursue" "recaptiualize" "reconceptualize"
    "redefine" "re-engineer" "reintermediate" "reinvent" "repurpose"
    "restore" "revolutionize" "scale" "seize" "simplify" "strategize"
    "streamline" "supply" "syndicate" "synergize" "synthesize" "target"
    "transform" "transition" "underwhelm" "unleash" "utilize" "visualize"
  ("24/7" "24/365" "accurate" "adaptive" "alternative"
    "an expanded array of" "B2B" "B2C" "backend" "backward-compatible"
    "best-of-breed" "bleeding-edge" "bricks-and-clicks" "business"
    "clicks-and-mortar" "client-based" "client-centered" "client-centric"
    "client-focused" "collaborative" "compelling" "competitive"
    "cooperative" "corporate" "cost effective" "covalent"
    "cross functional" "cross-media" "cross-platform" "cross-unit"
    "customer directed" "customized" "cutting-edge" "distinctive"
    "distributed" "diverse" "dynamic" "e-business" "economically sound"
    "effective" "efficient" "emerging" "empowered" "enabled" "end-to-end"
    "enterprise" "enterprise-wide" "equity invested" "error-free" "ethical"
    "excellent" "exceptional" "extensible" "extensive" "flexible" "focused"
    "frictionless" "front-end" "fully researched" "fully tested"
    "functional" "functionalized" "fungible" "future-proof""global"
    "go forward" "goal-oriented" "granular" "high standards in"
    "high-payoff" "high-quality" "highly efficient" "holistic" "impactful"
    "inexpensive" "innovative" "installed base" "integrated" "interactive"
    "interdependent" "intermandated" "interoperable" "intuitive"
    "just in time" "leading-edge" "leveraged" "long-term high-impact"
    "low-risk high-yield" "magnetic" "maintainable" "market positioning"
    "market-driven" "mission-critical" "multidisciplinary"
    "multifunctional" "multimedia based" "next-generation" "one-to-one"
    "open-source" "optimal" "orthogonal" "out-of-the-box" "pandemic"
    "parallel" "performance based" "plug-and-play" "premier" "premium"
    "principle-centered" "proactive" "process-centric" "professional"
    "progressive" "prospective" "quality" "real-time" "reliable"
    "resource sucking" "resource maximizing" "resource-leveling"
    "revolutionary" "robust" "scalable" "seamless" "stand-alone"
    "standardized" "standards compliant" "state of the art" "sticky"
    "strategic" "superior" "sustainable" "synergistic" "tactical"
    "team building" "team driven" "technically sound" "timely" "top-line"
    "transparent" "turnkey" "ubiquitous" "unique" "user-centric"
    "user friendly" "value-added" "vertical" "viral" "virtual"
    "visionary" "web-enabled" "wireless" "world-class" "worldwide")
  ("action items" "alignments" "applications" "architectures" "bandwidth"
    "benefits" "best practices" "catalysts for change" "channels" "clouds"
    "collaboration and idea-sharing" "communities" "content" "convergence"
    "core competencies" "customer service" "data" "deliverables"
    "e-business" "e-commerce" "e-markets" "e-tailers" "e-services"
    "experiences" "expertise" "functionalities" "fungibility"
    "growth strategies" "human capital" "ideas" "imperatives"
    "infomediaries" "information" "infrastructures" "initiatives"
    "innovation" "intellectual capital" "interfaces"
    "internal or 'organic' sources" "leadership" "leadership skills"
    "manufactured products" "markets" "materials" "meta-services"
    "methodologies" "methods of empowerment" "metrics" "mindshare"
    "models" "networks" "niches" "niche markets" "nosql" "opportunities"
    "'outside the box' thinking" "outsourcing" "paradigms" "partnerships"
    "platforms" "portals" "potentialities" "process improvements"
    "processes" "products" "quality vectors" "relationships" "resources"
    "results" "ROI" "scenarios" "schemas" "services" "solutions" "sources"
    "strategic theme areas" "storage" "supply chains" "synergy" "systems"
    "technologies" "technology" "testing procedures" "total linkage"
    "users" "value" "vortals" "web-readiness" "web services")))


(define shakespeare '(("Thou")
  ("artless" "bawdy" "beslubbering" "bootless" "churlish" "cockered"
    "clouted" "craven" "currish" "dankish" "dissembling" "droning"
    "errant" "fawning" "fobbing" "froward" "frothy" "gleeking" "goatish"
    "gorbellied" "impertinent" "infectious" "jarring" "loggerheaded"
    "lumpish" "mammering" "mangled" "mewling" "paunchy" "pribbling"
    "puking" "puny" "quailing" "rank" "reeky" "roguish" "ruttish" "saucy"
    "spleeny" "spongy" "surly" "tottering" "unmuzzled" "vain" "venomed"
    "villainous" "warped" "wayward" "weedy" "yeasty")
  ("base-court" "bat-fowling" "beef-witted" "beetle-headed"
    "boil-brained" "clapper-clawed" "clay-brained" "common-kissing"
    "crook-pated" "dismal-dreaming" "dizzy-eyed" "doghearted"
    "dread-bolted" "earth-vexing" "elf-skinned" "fat-kidneyed"
    "fen-sucked" "flap-mouthed" "fly-bitten" "folly-fallen" "fool-born"
    "full-gorged" "guts-griping" "half-faced" "hasty-witted" "hedge-born"
    "hell-hated" "idle-headed" "ill-breeding" "ill-nurtured"
    "knotty-pated" "milk-livered" "motley-minded" "onion-eyed"
    "plume-plucked" "pottle-deep" "pox-marked" "reeling-ripe"
    "rough-hewn" "rude-growing" "rump-fed" "shard-borne" "sheep-biting"
    "spur-galled" "swag-bellied" "tardy-gaited" "tickle-brained"
    "toad-spotted" "urchin-snouted" "weather-bitten")
  ("apple-john" "baggage" "barnacle" "bladder" "boar-pig" "bugbear"
    "bum-bailey" "canker-blossom" "clack-dish" "clotpole" "coxcomb"
    "codpiece" "death-token" "dewberry" "flap-dragon" "flax-wench"
    "flirt-gill" "foot-licker" "fustilarian" "giglet" "gudgeon" "haggard"
    "harpy" "hedge-pig" "horn-beast" "hugger-mugger" "jolthead" "lewdster"
    "lout" "maggot-pie" "malt-worm" "mammet" "measle" "minnow" "miscreant"
    "moldwarp" "mumble-news" "nut-hook" "pigeon-egg" "pignut" "puttock"
    "pumpion" "ratsbane" "scut" "skainsmate" "strumpet" "varlet" "vassal"
    "whey-face" "wagtail")))


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3 Responses to “Thou Impertinent Urchin-Faced Miscreant!”

  1. The real code is in the map line at the end – the rest is just loading in the definitions from the file using YAML, and then checking we have a valid key!

    use strict;
    use YAML::Loader;
    my ($t,$k);
    { local $/ = undef; $t = YAML::Loader->new->load(<DATA>); }
    $k = 'shakespeare' unless exists $t->{$k = shift};
    print "@{[ map { $_->[rand @{$_}] } @{$t->{$k}} ]}\n";
        - integrated
        - total
        - systematized
        - parallel
        - functional
        - responsive
        - optional
        - synchronized
        - compatible
        - balanced
  2. Francesco said


    import System.Random
    import Control.Applicative
    bs = [["integrated", "total", "systematized", "parallel", "functional",
           "responsive", "optional", "synchronized", "compatible", "balanced"],
           ["options", "flexibility", "capability", "mobility", "programming",
            "concept", "time-phase", "projection", "hardware", "contingency"]]
    main = f <$> sequence (replicate 3 (randomRIO (0,9))) <*> pure bs
        where f ns ws = (!!) <$> ZipList ws <*> ZipList ns
  3. Josef Svenningsson said

    Only the code, put in whatever list of insults you fancy.

    import System.Random
    generate :: RandomGen g => g -> [[a]] -> [a]
    generate _ [] = []
    generate g (ls:lss) = ls !! ix : generate g' lss
      where (ix,g') = randomR (0,length ls-1) g

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